He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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