drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
