And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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