if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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