God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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