i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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