And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
