I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
