Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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