She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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