DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
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I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
this is an emotional support booty call
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Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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