He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
