I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
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