Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
