We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
