We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Bring me that man meat
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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