So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
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I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
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its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize