I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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