I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
