Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
