I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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