Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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