I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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