I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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