one might say we're banned from that church
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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