Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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