Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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