Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I think people are normalizing furries
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
