You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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