dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like the Real World with babies
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Randomize