i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
