weddingsv make me drug and hornr
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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