STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I touched a dick in church today
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