I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
you would pick up someone in the library
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
