Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
