There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
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Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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