one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Dear god my vagina.
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