he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
