just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
