just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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