there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
