Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
