is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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