thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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