She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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