Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
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She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize