i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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