Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
