do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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