I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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