dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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