i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You need a sexual gate keeper
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
