hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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