Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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