shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize