chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
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