He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
