I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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