Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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