I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
