my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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