I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize