how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
