i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize