I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
