i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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