Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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