I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
where are my eyebrows?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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