Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
