Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
